Friday, February 5, 2010

Time to man up

I received a pouch of tobacco in the mail today. This is one I always wondered if I'd try. Frankly, I kind of wondered if I was man enough to smoke it. Well, the time has come to find out. Let's face it: This ain't just any tobacco. This is Mixture No. 79.

The pouch gives little information. There's no description. There's no aroma, but it would have to seep through the pouch, the box and the cellophane wrapping.
To get the Tale of the Tape, we turn to tobaccoreviews.com. According to this site, which can provide interesting information on a blend, there is a tin description.
"Rich burley tobaccos, blended to the original, time-honored formula of the Sutliff's of California, maintains the tradition of this perennial favorite. A topping of natural vanilla flavoring gives this basic pipe tobacco blend a soft, sweet aroma to enhance its already mild, biteless, round taste."
That sounds pretty harmless, right? There is more information on it, like the following descriptive:
Average Ratings
Strength: Mild to Medium
Flavoring: Medium to Strong
Taste: Medium to Full
Room Note: Tolerable
Recommendation: Somewhat Recommended
So there's a "tolerable" room note and it's "somewhat recommended." That sounds less than promising. Let's see what else we can find in the reviews below.
Big Blue Jazzman said, "When I was a lad my mother overheard me saying a foul word. She made me smoke a bowl of Mixture 79. I have not used that word since."
Nick O'Teen called it "Fear & Loathing in a pipe bowl." Old Schoolr called it "foul in the extreme." Zone Smoke said, "Soak some cardboard in your grandmother's perfume and you will have Mixture 79 in bulk. Horrid. Simply horrid."
But my favorite one came from zulujerk: "If you were ever curious enough to wonder what it would be like to smoke a urinal cake, here you go."
And we're going to try it. No, I didn't say I'm going to try it. I said we're going to try it. Anyone with any intestinal fortitude at all is welcome to try some at tomorrow's meeting of The Ozark Pipe Smokers. In addition to discussing HR 4439, we'll surely be, as usual, lighting up our pipes.
I have 1.5 ounces of the 79. Now who's joining me?

1 comment:

  1. TT, a very gracious offer but I will have to decline feigning an arduous journey.

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